NDE #1


NDE #2


NDE #3


NDE #4



Timeline Outline

An Email Exchange with Susan Chronicling Events of the First NDE Which Led Me to the Big Island of Hawaii in 1985

Subject: Re: TimeLine/OutLine/LineFormsHere/Tag......you're It!
Date: Mon, 02 Mar 1998 18:25:47 +0000
From: M... <bluenova@earthlink.net>
To: S.

S. wrote: The Atwater Promptings, as promised...I know this in no way is inclusive of all the roads ya been down, nor do I think all pertain to your first book, but we gotta start somewhere!  Feel free to 'add in' if there appear to be gaps...I'm sure there's tons you haven't told me...

Please place these 'topic ideas' in chronological order as best you can.  This could require subheadings as lots of stuff may have occurred during the same time.  I realize portions of this may seem redundant, but it would help if  you recounted with your own words as much as possible...

M. wrote: Just go ahead and lemme know if I'm not doin' this in a way that would be best and I'll restructure.

S. wrote: 1972 NDE while reading The Life and Teachings of the Masters of the Far East.

M. wrote: This is a weird one, especially with my preoccupation with dates.  For the life of me I just don't remember.  It was either in Feb or March of 1972.  Could have been (based on that) today...but sometime around this time at the very least.

S. wrote: 1987 Desert NDE/bone being reconstructed as 'time release Library'

M. wrote: October 2

S. wrote:1995 Mercury Poisoning NDE

M. wrote: The last Saturday night of the month, which I think made it the 28th of May.

S. wrote: That part was easy, huh?

M. wrote: Yeah...I really liked that part.

S. wrote: It'll get harder.

M. wrote: Uh oh

S. wrote: I promise :)

M. wrote: :(

S. wrote: Flash of NDE as a form of Time Travel

M wrote: Not for years after my initial NDE...not for years.  When this insight finally did occur, I recall a specific thought sequence that went along the lines of, "Well, I am not dead yet but I have died and gone to the end of my life to go beyond it....that Being so, then I have already journeyed ahead in time to beyond my death and then reversed the course of events and returned back in time to before I died. Thus, I have time traveled in consciousness and therefore what I believe is or isn't "time" is only a belief and must not Be Really Real or how else would I have died and come back in the first place.

What if the speed of death's holographic (life recall) flash, collapses time and punches one thru to the timeless?  What if we already exist in the future and the NDE is an "I" opening means of communicating with our past selves, which exist in this particular here now?  As example, I'm sure you can relate to being in a tough situation at some point in your life and, in the midst of it, you just knew everything was gonna be OK.  What if the knowingness came from some future you lookin' back at the you that was in that particular jam while encouraging ya to get through?

It brings into question such things as, "Are we our own guardian angels?"  Is it possible by placing our attention on given historical events we're capable of extending a line of energy which can fold the time space continuum, and, at the least, tweak it?  On the surface, what I suggest may sound far fetched, but to an ascended Soul it may be perceived as common sense and we, mere mortals, are just playing a cosmic game of catch up.  Are we the ones we've been waiting fore?

If we exist (which we do, indeed) in the future, then what metaphysical machinations (personality traits) within one's "everyday" subjective self need be reassembled (prioritized) in order (out of chaos) to intermediate (portal) an expanded flow of the Force into this time space continuum? 

Based on my initial 1972 journey into the LIGHT, it's not about acquiring more; it's about stripping away to the core of one's INTENT.  For me, this occurred after going thru the Life Recall protocol, the Christ Review (a ring of energy depicting/merging planetary archetypes/karma) and, finally, entering into a region of spaceless space called The Void wherein I was rendered painfully butt naked.

This unmasking gave me a good look at all the stuff I was burdened/identified with and revealed the lackluster priorities and confused dysfunctionality that had cloaked my innermost Intent.  Sometimes having more (attachments) confines one to living life less and surfing multi-dimensional worlds demands one's onion skin get periodically peeled in order to see a bigger picture.  I didn't think it was very much fun.

S. wrote: Travel between planets/galactic navigation based on NDE electromagnetic fulcrum points

M. wrote: This was all tele-empathetically communicated information from the Light Beings in 1987's desert death.  At least insofar as the Stellar /Planetary Travel be concerned.  The extension of this perception, insofar as the overall NDE community's relationship as Celestially contrived BioNavigationally induced sentient states of "Intention/Attention/Desire," dawned on me later, about the time I went to the Mayan Pyramids of Palenque and the comets were hittin' Jupiter in '94. 

I fought this awareness to a certain extent because it sounded a bit too "hooty tooty," yet, nothing could be further from the truth because the NDE chooses the soon to be departed, rather than the reverse being true, and the enhanced empathetic response can feel, at times, to angst with the shredding of boundaries and the NDEr's tendency to walk in the shoes of others.

To be sure, this isn't reserved for NDErs' only, yet it seems a general "malady" of the LIGHT experience, which automatically ingrains a sense of Oneness, rather than separation.  Depending upon the degree, the lack of boundaries and the tendency toward projected identification has posed difficulties in the lives of many Returnees.

A few years after the Desert Trip, I received a letter from the Scout Leader who yanked me from the Outlands.  His interests in archeology is one of the bonds we discovered existed between us and, according to the communiqué, he'd deciphered an antiquated hieroglyphic scroll from Egypt called The Royal Initiation Ceremony.  In a nutshell, an individual who desired service in politics or the priesthood would be taken into a specific pyramidal and indoctrinated into the great mysteries by being given a forced NDE. 

The manner in which this little ditty was pulled off had to do with placing the initiate inside an airtight sarcophagus for an extended period of time.  Once the air ran out, the aspirant asphyxiated and, upon removal, resuscitated.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize there must have been an extremely sharp learning curve involved in getting the timing just right.  Nonetheless, the Egyptian priesthood felt anyone accepting dynastic responsibility must, by their own experience, see for themselves that life continues beyond the grave and should their conduct be less then beneficial for the whole, it would follow them into the afterlife.  Currently, I think it'd be a good idea to revive this tradition for those in positions of public trust.

The NDE (at least in my case, anyway) results/resolves/revolves around the FINAL SOLUTION which IS LOVE.  There was a progressive decloaking that took place as I sojourned beyond the Life Recall dimension and the man behind the curtain continued getting a really good look at himself.  I sense that if any particular segment of the Life Recall was found intrinsically essential (as a life lesson) to examine in greater detail, my journey would have been rerouted and I would have entered another After Life realm altogether to address whatever issues needed my attention.  In explanation, the Life Recall reveals one's overall conduct and the dysfunctional paradigms that make up one's existence.  For me, this manifested byway of a sensed failure insofar as never being able to give enough love to my parents and family. 

I was to return from the NDE and discover that I never could have.  The lacking I felt was more about my indoctrination into the dysfunctional control mechanisms entrained by my parent's rendition of child rearing.  Given the fact I was entrapped by what I thought was "normal" parenting techniques, in order to get a greater understanding of how this played out, I had to go deeper and see that nothing I could have ever done would have satisfied, anyway.  That's why all Life Recall segments of the NDE are as unique as the person that has one.  In addition, having had more then one, I can unequivocally state that each of the four I've experienced have been uniquely suited to my journey on the path at that time.  We've each got different stuff that we're workin' out and the death trip is an accelerated methodology utilized by Spirit to gravitate whatever point IT deems necessary for the voyager to get.

Nothingness exists in the Void and should one enter while carrying an attitude they'll find a wail becomes a whimper as they come face to face with Intent.  Once realized, the aspirant (me, in this case) awares that (beyond any polarity accompanying the likes and dislikes of pleasure or pain) all they ever wanted is the same thing everyone else wants.  They want it because it's the best thing goin' and, perhaps, the last thing to arrive during the sorting out process of The Void.  And, naked to the core, one realizes the primal drive called Love.

Immediately thereafter, a Cosmic Switch got thrown and I found myself being magnetically drawn (like some Cosmic Tractor Beam) out of The Void and toward a BLUE LIGHT shining in the darkness.  I discovered the radiance of Unconditional Love surrounded the Heart of this LIGHT and, rather than merely bask in IT'S arms/glow, I chose to appreciate it, for it's own sake, and the heightened luminosity that ensued drew me into the Merge with the White Light which resided in ITS core.

Thus, in choosing to return the LOVE of the Unconditional LOVE being given, an energetic give and take expanded by contracting into deeper levels of discovering that the INTENT of Ist CAUSE is to INTEND INTENT and just LOVE LOVE.

Because ya experience this doesn't mean there won't be lessons to learn upon one's return to 3D Land.  Life is a school, sometimes you pass and sometimes yer gonna flunk.  Nonetheless, the beauty of havin' had a NDE which merged with the LIGHT is knowing that just ya Keep on Keepin' On and It All works out in the wash. 

FREE WILL comes into play because there is, in Truth, a spiritual toggle that gets tossed should one choose to reverse the LIFE/LIGHT flow and, rather than just absorb the LOVE that's being given, give it back.  Therefore, the decision to LOVE LOVE in return was (in my experience) an Individual Choice.  Yet, even in the choosing, I don't believe I really had many options because I was so thankful for IT just Being, that to LOVE LOVE right on back was as supernaturally natural as appreciating IT for My Own Sake because I was One genuinely grateful son of a bitch.

I'd already run the Life Recall Protocol (Life Review) of the NDE and seen I was coming up far short of "Spiritually Prioritizing" the dead and dying rationalizations that "reeled past."  To my way of looking, the essence of the phrase "My Life flashed in front of my eyes" derives from this holographically superimposed stack of personality pictographs unmasking so rapidly that in the spontaneous unification of everything one's ever done with their life, the re-experiencing gives a pretty damn scary/limiting reality check of their 3rd dimensional idea of the "Big Picture."  At least that's how it worked out for me and it felt to hit ground zero with, "Nobody gets outta here alive...TAG, YOUR IT."

The, "Yep, your dying... dying...dead and done gone" deal really tended to grab my attention and force an expanded awareness through my time track (Life Recall Thing) as a converging series of lackluster rationales which stripped the facade, unpeeled the onion skin and, in general, just kicked my ass.  DeadTime Is ReelTime and the picture show plays the priorities ya pick, and shovels the ashes on what's grave.

S. wrote: Flash of Planetary Portals

M. wrote: Although having had prior inklings, this really started taking off when I went to the Big Island of Hawaii in October of 1985.  I'd never gotten over the visceral impact of the geometric image afforded me during my NDE reentry of 1972.  I always wanted to track its thread to Polynesia and have a personal look at what might present.  At the time, I was involved with an Elkhart girl whose brother asked for our help in moving his family (wife and 4 kids) into a rented house in Kona.  I didn't have a lot in common with these people, but for the price of an airline ticket and some elbow grease, it was a cheap vacation, which allowed me an opportunity to check out the philosophical roots of James Churchward's archeological findings.

Comparatively speaking, Kona was undiscovered by the majority of tourists who flocked to the islands.  It was laid back to the max and pot (bud) was openly sold on the main drag.  Hippies, expatriates, and vagabonds from around the globe utilized the Big Island as a way station between continents.  Exposure to such intriguing personalities made it, for the most part, a dream come true.

On the first evening of my arrival, I awoke in the middle of the night, took the rental car and simply steered south of town.  I was drawn to a spot overlooking the Ocean and just breathed in the air.  I felt completely at home, stretched and hunkered there thru daybreak.  It was a "good to be alive" kinda morning.

Within the first few days I went to a place called The City of Refuge.  I spent the afternoon speaking with a native Hawaiian who filled me in on The City's function as Safe Haven and Oracle.  He implied he was associated with the older Hawaiian teachings, yet I didn't allow myself to get overly impressed.  It was enough that he suggested I follow the threads of my geo-philosophical interests byway of investigating a Polynesian path called HUNA and, saying "thank you," I left.

Along about the second week, I, once again, awoke in the middle of the night with this need to get outta bed and take a midnight cruise.  It was already starting to feel like some somethin' had begun kickin' in and events were gettin' way out of hand.  A few days prior to this, I'd had an experience with a grouping of Sea Turtles that was way far off the map of normal reality and it had become obvious an escalating amount of paranormal interactivity was goin' down.  The excitement of some grand and glorious quest had taken a back seat to concern regarding whether or not I could hang on for the ride should any more of this psychic stuff get served up.  Nonetheless, having already made my decision, a long time ago, I followed the impulse and went into the darkness.

I use the term "psychic stuff" in a bastardized sorta way.  In my lexicon, it means anything that gets so interactively weird, so far outside the accepted norm, that it boggles the rationale brain to the point of shutting down with blinders on.  A disembodied spirit, UFO or OBE all seem to fit into this category and are often swept under the cultural carpet with terminology like, "It was only a dream," or "You must have just been imagining things."  At the least, I'd rather see what's goin' on as I walk thru a grave yard, rather than whistle through in a state of denial.  Sure, I bitch and moan along the way, but at least I'm game.  If for nothing else, it's a damn sight better then a life less lived.

I put the rental car on autopilot and went wherever the road felt to take me.  Eventually, I found myself standing on the Kona Pier, which borders the King Kam Hotel facility.  At the time, I didn't know squat regarding native lore and, instead, was just flying by the seat of my pants.  From the Pier I could look across an inlet and see a Hawaiian structure that felt oddly inviting and foreboding at the same time.  In order to get there, I had to stroll over the hotel grounds and the way this ditty was being served up created a buncha misgivings regarding my midnight mission.

Ya gotta figure, its the dead of night and I don't particularly care for this intuitive voice goin' off in my head that is "sensing" me to follow all over the Island.  I don't want some cop or hotel security guard asking me questions that I can't rationally answer.  Thus, I'm not in a happy camper mood because I know something's taking place that is beyond me and I feel obligated to follow wherever it leads.  Admittedly, I can be a pathetic whiner at times with this sorta thing and I recall my internal dialogue going along the lines of, "Aw Fuck me...just go on ahead and fuck me some more."

Anyway, I go up to this Hawaiian lookin' place and only then notice a sign that says it's got something to do with this King Kame guy.  I didn't know until my second visit to the island the following year, it had been his original gravesite.  Initially, I merely thought it was his summer shack by the bay.  Regardless, I'm in a foul mood and, other than some unseen presence, there's nobody around but me.  Getting nervous, I tossed out a verbal salvo which amounted to, "Hey, if ya got something to show me then go on ahead and just do it, but I believe in Love and you can go fuck yourselves for all I care because I'm not gonna go groveling to any of this Kapu bullshit.  So, if you've got something, do it now or I'm getting outta here."

Suddenly, it got hyper quiet, the energetics start building and the entire lava rock base this structure is built upon starts to glow in a luminescent white light.  Now, I'm perfectly straight and can't rationalize away what's occurring as some sort of hallucination or figment of my imagination.  True, I tried, but it wouldn't wash because this was the real deal.  On edge and totally alert, I'm treated to two minutes (which translates into 120 veeery loooong seconds, btw) of this psychic stuff before I collect myself enough to ask out loud, "What do you want me to see?"

In answer, an intuitive thought leaps across my mind's screen and registers, 'Go South."  Immediately thereafter, the base of the burial site fades to black.  Stunned, but willing, I return to the rental car and just drive.

I follow my gut feelings and am lead to this place called Kealakekua Bay.  I discover a plaque next to the water (ya know, one of those government sponsored historical deals), which commemorates the site as where Captain Cook made landfall when he first arrived in the Islands.  Later I was to learn he was killed (and, possibly, ritualistically cannibalized) here, as well.  Strangely enough, I have this unbelievable distaste in my mouth for Cook and his kind, and, without any thought whatsoever, just spit on it.  It is, perhaps, the most genuine and distasteful spit I have ever spat.  I register this impulsive oddity along the lines of, "Ol' Mike's startin' to go a little native," and wonder, "What  next?"

In direct response, I get an innate nudge to go further south and roll down this single track, lava rocked road that's got hand scrawled signs hangin' everywhere that repeatedly warn, "KAPU."  Apparently this advice is taken seriously, especially at night, because there's nobody on the road, but me and a whole lotta shadows.  Nonetheless, I've got this attitude that's akin to, "Hey, if you invisible spirits are as good as ya think you are, you know I'm OK...If ya don't know that, then your not so OK and you can just fuck off....I Believe in Love."

I ride for miles thru this desert lookin' landscape (lava fields are like that, ya know) and suddenly pop out at the City of Refuge.  I have no idea how this minor miracle was accomplished.  Somehow or other I just managed to find a back assed taboo oriented road that took me to it and there's nobody else around, it's pitch black and I'm afraid.  Believe me,  there's no big time adventurer stuff goin' on because I'm just plain scared, yet I can't turn back 'cause the voice is intuiting me to go to the Oracle and I'm thinking, "Awwww shit, here we go again."   The Big Island is where a lotta the Polynesian spooky lore comes from and there are still practicing Kahuna, tales of dark shaman and the Goddess Pele roams the land.  The local boyz will definitely beat the crap outta any hoale (means "without god") tourist they see off the beaten path and I'm so far gone from the norm on this little gig there aren't even any natives out runnin'.

With hair on end, I make my way thru the darkness to the Oracle.  My guts doin' somersaults and my throat's bone dry.  I finally get the courage to shake it off, get tough and say what it is that I learned in the Heart of the NDE.  Thus, I start chanting the Word "LOVE"...over and over, again and again.  It occurs to me that Halley's Comet is currently streaking thru the Solar System and I intuit, "Comets are like thoughts in the Mind of God and if ya just Reach, ya can Here."  Thus, I Intentionally stretch my mind beyond the self imposed limitations of everyday thinking processes and Will It to openly expand toward this celestial messenger.  "The Star Children Are Safe," pops in my mind as a result.  Now let's face it, whoever could make up some cryptic message like this?  And remember, this takes place in October of 1985 and, to my knowledge, long before any of the current new age rap one finds on the web (or otherwise) referencing Star Children, Star People, Star Beings or the like.  Thus, as you can imagine, I've been waiting and watchin' for years to see how this little ditty is gonna play out.

What does it mean?  Why me?  Where's the understanding that glimmers like a whisper and resides on the tip of my tongue?  As you well know, the deal with Life is that it is Alive...all of it.  Somehow or other, post industrialized priorities seem to have forgotten this fact, and taught that unless it's sought in stock certificates, celebrity, strip malls, or steeple, it's somehow less important or just plain pagan.

As example, there's an entire generation of humankind that cannot conceive of life without computer technology.  Wouldn't it be ironic if members of this cyber generation believed that, in some way, people born prior to Microsoft mania were less equipped (dumber) human beings and incapable of utilizing the tools at hand which brought forth (pre-empted) the computer age to begin with?  It boils down to, "What came first, the chicken or the egg?"  Ignoring the discoveries (contributions) of the past, especially in the realm of geo-archeological power points, serves to disassociate one from the natural and supernatural order of things.  What if I'd have grown up in an accepting culture wherein it was openly acknowledged that strange psychic shit happens as a matter of course?  Would I have been as "freaked out," less argumentative with the intuitive impulses that lead me to this naturally occurring, earthen generator that resulted in one of the most astoundingly expansive experiences of my life?  Maybe, maybe not...but it sure makes me wonder.   

Nevertheless, after this experience, I've sought out other planetary hot spots (ley lines) and, with the wonder of a child, "Reached" in the same manner I did at this Oracle.  And, although subjectively bloody (mind blowing/fear facing) at times, it's not been boring and allowed opportunity for accelerated insight.

Personally, I've felt the foundation of my spiritual responsibility resides in anchoring INTENT and actively merging the LIGHT of the Near Death Experience in appreciation.  In effect, this is my rendition of "prayer," wherein a prioritized, interactive blend of this gratitude embraces the INTENT that would INTEND loving (merging) the love inside oneself that loves the LOVE, that just LOVES LOVE.

Later when I saw the undeniable synchronistic of the “11:11” deal which we've spoken about, I sensed, "Ok, this plays a part in the Star Children thing too."  Much remains hidden and is revealing itself in a time released manner.  It's probably best to remain open minded, non-judgmental and take it as it comes.

"Saving the best for last." comes to mind.

More Later,